Few days back i was reading this blog in which someone wrote a kind of autobiography of sorts. Well in a way it was confession of committing a series of mistakes. It is hard to write up something of that sort especially when you know everyone is going to read it.
So Inspired from that post i am writing about how i have screwed up my life. This is surely going to be a long post considering the attention to details i give!
What is it in for you to read my messed up life??
You can know what not to do in life! On the other hand can't you just read for the heck of it,why do we always have to find a reason for doing something?
I remember that day very well,the day i had flunked in Mathematics pre final year exam in 10th class. My Dad had come to the school to talk with the teacher and the shocking fact is my Dad is a Mathematics professor! Not bad right! I was humiliated and on that day when i came back to home i saw something written on a White board which my dad used for telling tutions.
some 10 points were written saying that i had never passed in the school! Yes i got promoted all the time. How much of a disgrace i was and all that stuff. I felt awful that day. I somehow managed to get a meagre 67% in CBSE( Which is my only saving face!) Especially without failing in Maths!
Then came the Intermediate. Interesting thing is i hardly remember anything of those 2 years since all i did was donkey's work! The college made me study like hell. No wonder i got 77% in 1st year and 86.5 in 2nd year! But frankly speaking any idiot who is made to study like that will score such percentages which everyone considers to be good!
Now after my 12th like hundreds if not thousands of parent's in our country give out the ultimate choice to their children,even my parents did the same.Something like to chose between Good and evil. The choice which has moved our nation to the present progress.
Engineering or Doctor?
I being such a fool like any other Non-interested engineer considered doing MBBS a waste of time and neither was biology my cup of tea.So i enthusiastically chose "Engineering" not knowing that there were people in this world who did something other than these two courses. Doing BA,BSC,BCOM was a never a option to me. Well I don't blame my parent's for that,since the problem was with me. I had no passion for anything! Feel ashamed to say this but i still do not
know what my True calling is.
Did my Engineering in my Hometown "Gulbarga". My stream Electronics and communication and my expertise in the field is almost Nil except a few subjects! My aggregate is 62.19! I never worked hard in those 4 years. All i did was enjoying with friends. My take away from the course was some beautiful friends i have made. Apart from that nothing! No exposure to anything be it further education,interpersonal skills or anything else. But here again there is only one person to be blamed and that is me. I never thought of the "Future"
Then came the dreadful day of July 14 2009 when i had to leave Gulbarga to come back to my home in Hyderabad. It was difficult for me. I just couldn't think of living without my friends.
Now was the decision time. What should i do now? Working in a IT company as a Software engineer was out of context. I just hate coding and all related stuff. Then the next best option was MBA. It is surely a opportunity generator course.( Career changer I mean!) Enrolled myself into TIME for CAT coaching on 21st july 2009.
Two months into the course i was doing good,was improving my Mock exam scores. Had gone from mid 60's to mid 80's. There was hope of improvement. Then all came crashing down. On september 21 2009 my maternal uncle died! My Mom was shocked and i being the only son had to take care of her. It was tough for me considering how emotional i am. Just when i thought everything was getting normal on october 15 2009 my Grandfather died! It was unexpected. I loved him a lot and i just couldn't come out of the trauma! By the time everything was getting back to normal it was Nov first week and CAT was on DEC 5. I just gave up in mid of Nov. Now i think i gave up soon. As expected got only 60.8% in CAT and did get 69 in SNAP but missed the cut off by 4 marks!!( SCIT) I never took XAT seriously so i flunked in that too.
In the midst of all this got 90.28% in MAT,which by the way is considered waste of time by many people. After doing a bit of research of all the colleges under MAT realised nothing was worth it! Still thought SCMS cochin was good. ( Source:Alumni) Attended the interview of it and got through it. Most probably will join the college.
I can't take another year off and write all the exams again. I just can't do it.There are various issues concerned. More ever i do not think i have the will power and patience required to get through.
Well that is the way i have screwed up my life so far. But I have something with me which my life so far has not been able to take away from me, My Optimism of a better tomorrow. My Belief that i can make it big.( Not in Materialistic terms!) My Little knowledge of the ultimate knowledge "Spirituality",My Altruistic nature. Okay I am boasting a lot here,am i not?? But its true!!
Let me end on a high. I would say, As Barack Obama saif
"Yes we can".