My Story!

Few days back i was reading this blog in which someone wrote a kind of autobiography of sorts. Well in a way it was confession of committing a series of mistakes. It is hard to write up something of that sort especially when you know everyone is going to read it.

So Inspired from that post i am writing about how i have screwed up my life. This is surely going to be a long post considering the attention to details i give!

What is it in for you to read my messed up life??

You can know what not to do in life! On the other hand can't you just read for the heck of it,why do we always have to find a reason for doing something?

I remember that day very well,the day i had flunked in Mathematics pre final year exam in 10th class. My Dad had come to the school to talk with the teacher and the shocking fact is my Dad is a Mathematics professor! Not bad right! I was humiliated and on that day when i came back to home i saw something written on a White board which my dad used for telling tutions.

some 10 points were written saying that i had never passed in the school! Yes i got promoted all the time. How much of a disgrace i was and all that stuff. I felt awful that day. I somehow managed to get a meagre 67% in CBSE( Which is my only saving face!) Especially without failing in Maths!

Then came the Intermediate. Interesting thing is i hardly remember anything of those 2 years since all i did was donkey's work! The college made me study like hell. No wonder i got 77% in 1st year and 86.5 in 2nd year! But frankly speaking any idiot who is made to study like that will score such percentages which everyone considers to be good!

Now after my 12th like hundreds if not thousands of parent's in our country give out the ultimate choice to their children,even my parents did the same.Something like to chose between Good and evil. The choice which has moved our nation to the present progress.

Engineering or Doctor?

I being such a fool like any other Non-interested engineer considered doing MBBS a waste of time and neither was biology my cup of tea.So i enthusiastically chose "Engineering" not knowing that there were people in this world who did something other than these two courses. Doing BA,BSC,BCOM was a never a option to me. Well I don't blame my parent's for that,since the problem was with me. I had no passion for anything! Feel ashamed to say this but i still do not

know what my True calling is.

Did my Engineering in my Hometown "Gulbarga". My stream Electronics and communication and my expertise in the field is almost Nil except a few subjects! My aggregate is 62.19! I never worked hard in those 4 years. All i did was enjoying with friends. My take away from the course was some beautiful friends i have made. Apart from that nothing! No exposure to anything be it further education,interpersonal skills or anything else. But here again there is only one person to be blamed and that is me. I never thought of the "Future"

Then came the dreadful day of July 14 2009 when i had to leave Gulbarga to come back to my home in Hyderabad. It was difficult for me. I just couldn't think of living without my friends.

Now was the decision time. What should i do now? Working in a IT company as a Software engineer was out of context. I just hate coding and all related stuff. Then the next best option was MBA. It is surely a opportunity generator course.( Career changer I mean!) Enrolled myself into TIME for CAT coaching on 21st july 2009.

Two months into the course i was doing good,was improving my Mock exam scores. Had gone from mid 60's to mid 80's. There was hope of improvement. Then all came crashing down. On september 21 2009 my maternal uncle died! My Mom was shocked and i being the only son had to take care of her. It was tough for me considering how emotional i am. Just when i thought everything was getting normal on october 15 2009 my Grandfather died! It was unexpected. I loved him a lot and i just couldn't come out of the trauma! By the time everything was getting back to normal it was Nov first week and CAT was on DEC 5. I just gave up in mid of Nov. Now i think i gave up soon. As expected got only 60.8% in CAT and did get 69 in SNAP but missed the cut off by 4 marks!!( SCIT) I never took XAT seriously so i flunked in that too.

In the midst of all this got 90.28% in MAT,which by the way is considered waste of time by many people. After doing a bit of research of all the colleges under MAT realised nothing was worth it! Still thought SCMS cochin was good. ( Source:Alumni) Attended the interview of it and got through it. Most probably will join the college.

I can't take another year off and write all the exams again. I just can't do it.There are various issues concerned. More ever i do not think i have the will power and patience required to get through.

Well that is the way i have screwed up my life so far. But I have something with me which my life so far has not been able to take away from me, My Optimism of a better tomorrow. My Belief that i can make it big.( Not in Materialistic terms!) My Little knowledge of the ultimate knowledge "Spirituality",My Altruistic nature. Okay I am boasting a lot here,am i not?? But its true!!

Let me end on a high. I would say, As Barack Obama saif

"Yes we can".

Who am I?

One of my favorite movies is Spiderman not because it is a Comic hero based but also because of some beautiful dialogues in the movie like "With great power comes great responsibility" and the last line of the movie "This is my curse this is my gift,Who am I? I am Spiderman"

Well you must be wondering why am i talking about Spiderman after having a photo of "Ohm" above. A very important question above is Who am I?? This is one question which we need to ask ourselves a lot and if we find the answer then i am sure life will become easier!!

I was watching a Debate on Tv today about the Identity of a Moderate muslim and after the show finished my mom said something which everyone generally knows "All terrorists are muslims but all muslims are not terrorists". Something which i can never support. Well every Indian has a opinion and so do I!!

I try to learn from movies( Obviously good logical movies) and there was this movie named Krantiveer starring Nana Patekar. In the movie there is a wonderful scene where he mixes blood of both Hindu and muslim and asks a fundamentalist to differentiate between the bloods. Well what better way to bring home the point.

Now what do i feel regarding all this,I don't know who brought all this business of caste and caste division. But one thing is for sure that God does not differentiate. For him or her( I wonder if god has a gender!!) every soul on earth is the same. If you do good you are closer to him and if you do bad you tend to go far away from him. It is like a tuning of frequency with god,more good you do you have high chances to match to god's frequency!!

I don't understand why terrorists do so much voilence under the name of god!! I pity on their foolishness! Neither do i understand why Naxals on the name of benifit of people kill government workers. Who gave them the right to kill?? Even God forgives people who have committed sins then are these people bigger than gods?? Some people wonder if God exists then why isn't he punishing the culprits,well he does punish them but how he does it is oblivious to our knowledge.

But we can be god send angels by doing our part in spreading goodness in the world. As Gandhiji said "To see the change be the change".

God is both in form and formless and he is a super authority who resides in us. He does not understand religion nor does he knows such a thing even exists! I see god in me,people around me. So stop being a intellectual and debating on religion and enjoy life as it is the only thing worth! Try to observe more closer at the picture above and see there are symbols of other religions as well. It has crescent moon of Islam at the top and a cross of christianity in the middle. You might not see it but try to observe you will see it eventually!

Finally i would like to quote Abraham Lincoln " I do good i feel good,I do bad i feel thats my religion"

Mind crap!!

For a few days now, I have been thinking how do you Evaluate Success or for that matter Failure?

Are these just a few words to which we have given too much importance or are they really significant in our Life?

For a Start let me try to write down a few interpretations of success according to various people.

Is Success earning Six figure salary and having a Mercedes Benz??

Is success gaining admission into IIM's,XLRI and more elite Institutions??

Is success having a Status in Society??

Is success Owning a billion dollar company??

Is success being able to marry your Loved one going against your family conditions??

Is Success having a NGO and helping needful people?

Is Success leaving a High paying job and doing what you like to do??

Is success being the best in whatever you do??

or

Is failure not being able to do any of the above??

I don't know,I am confused. It is like a situation where in I have to differentiate between Mazaa and Slice!! Thats Hieghts of confusion!!

I also ask this question to myself,Are these just labels which world has created and we being fools just follow them.

We always follow someone's Life path but never try to sketch our own!!

I don't understand anything, I guess i use lot of heart in interpreting everything rather than using the Brain.

To be frank I just don't know what Success or failure is. I feel we should do what really interests us and if in the process you make some money then great. At the end of the day even if you have Millions still you will feel hungry and eat the same thing.( There are so many food types but the main purpose is to quench your hunger isnt it??)

I guess after reading this post you would say I am inspired from 3 idiots and have written all this crap!! Well you could say that but then these questions have always been in my mind.

At the end, Moral of the Post:- Have your own definations of success and failure or do not believe in these terms but never follow the someone else defination's.

" A diary entry"

I was low on confidence today and was feeling miserable!! Dint know what to do.. was surfing around net,the usual pagalguy stuff!! Then got hold of my diary. I have this habit of writing in a personal diary and my mom has this bad habit of reading it when i am not around!! Anyway i love reading the diary entries of past where in i have written so badly,believe me compared to my writing style( If i may say so) now, what i use to write in past was complete crap!! While turning around pages i found a page which i must have written in a philosophical mood. Its about relations!!

Seems to be mediocre writing but hey the feel of it was so good that when i read it today it made me smile and change my somber mood.. so i thought why not post it on my blog( as if anyone is going to read!!) so here it goes...

27 feb 2009

Relations are so beautiful in life aren't they??

Life starts with a beautiful relationship of mother who brings you to this enormous world, father who has great plans for your future and tries to sketch your path to "success". Grandparents have a wonderful glow on their face when they see us,and even they pour in with advices!!

Then come friends who play pivotal role in shaping the personality you become,the way you think about everything. They mould your personalty. Friends can either give you shoulder's to cry upon or make it sure that you never cry!!

Most of them say being too much emotional or getting entangled in relationships can stop the growth of the individual, but what i feel is relationships can only strengthen you if you allow them too!!

At the end of the day it is all about being happy and content with what you have rather than than crave for what you don't have!!

As guruji says it is all about sharing joy and love with everyone,see how it literally works in creating magic in your life. Jai guru dev!!

Aah!! Kind of good what i have written considering i am not a veteran in philosophy nor in writing. The entire entry is the same but i have made some corrections,grammaticall!!

What i'am trying to portray is Diary writing is the wonderful hobby which can help you come out of torrid,miserable times when you are feeling low on confidence!! Like it did today for me!

Diary is more of a introspective way of looking at life. It does not mean that you write "I did this today", ate that!! Not all that crap,you should write what you have learnt about life today.

Each and every day is a learning process, it is said that when a person says that he has learnt everything in life then that very day he is dead!! It is all about looking life differently!!

Give it a try,i am sure you will enjoy...

Jai guru deva!!

Aditya.

Are you (emotion-practic) al!!!

The debate between being emotional or practical has always made me think!!! Now that must be something to do,since it is not easy to make people without minds to think !!!!! let me make one fact clear, i am an damn emotional fellow so no prizes for guessing which side of debate i will take.

Most of the people say,i mean learned fellows that being emotional does not help in making a good career or a business or for that matter an enterprise, but i am sure all of them who have said this are out and out practical by nature!!

I must agree that being emotional has its own flaws too, I know some of it. But it all depends on how you handle a situation and how well can you control your mind. There are many instances in life when one has to deal with emotional tragedies and being emotional and breaking down might not help and some incidents were seeing emotional side of a coin will also help.

Just for the sake of an example consider the movie kismat konnection ( yup connection with a 'k' now thats not being practical isn't it). In the movie there is a wonderful concept which is presented in front of an business fraternity about having an old age home and a mall,both in same building. Surely the presenter was more emotional than practical, but the business leaders as they generally are ( not all) highly practical and profit-maniac people dint like to even give a ear to the idea, leave alone considering it. But as always in bollywood happy ending had to happen and the Co-owner decides to step in and gives a green signal to the idea. Now thats an emotional and practical views put together.

That was in movies i dont see that happening in reality but if it has happened somwhere and i dont know about it,then i will be happy to get to know.

Now coming to the contradiction that emotional people are fools, i most certainly disagree with that, the only difference is that emotional fellows think with their heart rather than mind always.

Considering the dubious intentions of mind and how difficult it is to control it and how easily it gets distracted, thinking with heart is not such a bad idea is it??

Emotion has to be taken in the right spirit and if done so it can be used as an inspiration to achieve goals.

Being too emotional is not helpful since there is more to life than crying over some sorrows,and instead of forgetting the dreadful past people forget that they are losing their present too!!!

I suggest you should be a mixture of both emotional as well as practical,now it depends upon you whether you give higher priority to being emotional or being practical,i give it to emotional thats why the "title" has emotional prior to practical!!!!

After all world needs more people with good hearts than great minds!!!

Aditya.